28 comments ·

Top 5 Ways to Impress on a Golf Date - Ladies Edition!

Full disclosure, I’m a guy, and I sat down with a couple of our favorite Brand Ambassadors – both wholesome, young professional women –and asked them how they would impress on a golf date. I’m pretty sure this is a scientific study and I used some deviation of the scientific method, so consider this information fact. Feel free to sound off in the comments if you disagree.

“Skorts for Days”

Straight out of the gate I was hit with this beauty:

Brand Ambassador (BA): “You could ‘accidentally’ wear a skirt instead of a a skort, know what I’m saying?” *winks and nudges an awkward guy friend sitting next to her*.

Me: My god lady! I thought guys were savages….

BA: “Yeah, I definitely would do like 3 sets of 10 squats every night leading up to the date to make sure my quads are looking ripe in that skort (or skirt?)”. 

Me: I can’t even say anything here ‘cause I’ve definitely attempted to plank my way to a 6 pack one week out from spring break. It didn’t work for those of you who were curious.

via GIPHY

“Make Him an Expert”

BA: “I would ask for guidance on my swing, the difference between clubs, driving the carts, you know, simple stuff that I already know but it will help to pad his ego and make him think he’s smarter than he really is.”

Me: “I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE” – Billy Madison and Me

BA: *Throws on flirty voice and mannerisms* “Is this how you line up the putt?”

Male: *Clearly misses all the right signs and lectures her for not knowing how to properly line up a putt. Ruins any chance at a second date.*

 

via GIPHY

“Google Golf Phrases from the Parking Lot” 

BA: “Even if you don’t know s**t about golf or its lingo, a simple google search from the parking lot of the course will help you tremendously. Throw in a nice “wow, you really roped that one down the gut, bud, good poke” and you will definitely fry his brain.

Me (or rather my emotions): Turned on, confused, and a little frightened all at the same time.

 

“Flirty Side Bets are so Easy!” 

Female: “Miss this putt and I’ll let you kiss me!"

Male: *buries a 2 footer for triple bogey and hits her with the “Shooter” CAUSE I DON’T LIKE TO LOSE. Walks off the green with smug smile and date astonished in background.*

 

via GIPHY

“Highlight the sexual innuendos”

BA: “If all your other flirting fails to get through to his caveman brain, start picking this low hanging fruit. Start asking if you’re “holding the shaft right”, or ask him “how often he washes his balls”, this will hopefully drill through his thick caveman skull and pull out some of that possibly non-existent sense of humor he has.

Me: Lol, she said balls.

via GIPHY

 

As you can see, nothing but great times can come out of bringing a guy out on a golf date, make it happen, ladies, make it happen!

Huge thanks to Johannah and Whitney for helping to guest write this blog, be sure to contact adam@swannies.co if you're interested in writing one!

-Mike Hau, Johannah Kneen, and Whitney Swanson

28 comments

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