What Your Favorite Golfer Says About You (Or, About Me)

Ian Poulter – Alright, I’m just going to come out swinging. If Ian’s your go to guy, chances are it’s a closet protest against America. What this man has done to us in Ryder Cups is simply unforgivable. He is 12-3 in his 15 Ryder Cup starts. It just doesn’t make sense; this “I’d like to speak to your manager” looking Brit doesn’t have a Major under his belt yet somehow he manages to dust us every two years in the battle over the Atlantic. Either he runs off of pure hatred for the Old Red White and Blue, or he’s found the perfect combination of Adderall and caffeine…. potentially both? But let’s take a step back and remember all the adversity Ian has overcome, like that time his nanny had to fly coach…..

Rickie Fowler – Now I’m torn here, I respect everything Rick does on and off the course, and in many ways he’s opened up the game to a wider, more casual audience.  I know he has toned it down a bit in the last few years, but I just can’t seem to forgive him for putting the idea in middle aged men’s heads that they can come to the course dressed looking like a giant banana. All jokes aside, I have so much respect for what Rickie does for the game, and for charities, and I hope he takes home a few majors in his career (preferably after putting the fruit-themed costumes to rest). Also, we can’t forget he dated this smoke. Good work, Rick. If Rick is your favorite player, you probably respect the changing of the guard and I’m alright with that.

 

Dustin Johnson – This man is the definition of “speak softly and carry a big stick”. He’s definitely doing Teddy R proud after getting shafted at Whistling with those absurd “bunkers” and three jacking 18 at Chambers against Jordan. I’m happy DJ came back with a vengeance in 2016.  Three W’s, his first major, and his life back on track, DJ ain’t messing around anymore. He’s swinging that big stick on the whole Tour, The Great One’s daughter, and presumably AA as well. From reformed party animal, to Major winner, DJ has nothing by my respect. Odds are if you like DJ, you probably don’t take yourself too seriously and enjoy having a good time. And if this doesn’t look like the greatest life in the world, I don’t know what does.

 

Rory McIlroy – Watching this guy send his tee ball into the stratosphere is one of my favorite things to do on a lazy Sunday; however, he snatched the Fedex Cup out of DJ’s hands last year which I’m understandably still pretty salty about. Yeah yeah, he jugged that 130-something yard wedge shot on 16 in the Tour Championship, and then proceeded to clown on Ryan Moore on the final hole of the playoff (once again on 16), but for some reason I just have a hard time liking the guy. I have to admit, nothing made me happier than Patrick Reed absolutely dropping a freedom bomb on Ricky in the Ryder Cup at Hazeltine this past September. If you like Rory, odds are you’re quite simply a fan of terrific ball striking. Also, can someone please tell me if this pic is photo-shopped or if we all just felt too bad to say something like with my aunt Cindy’s botox?

 

Tiger – You likely grew up watching him mercilessly run through everyone in his way. You can look past his off-the-course antics because you respect what he has done for the game. Listen to guys like Rocco talk about how Tiger did more for the game than anyone else, they respect the guy ‘cause even though he stole nearly every 1st place trophy for like 20 years straight, he undoubtedly caused their paychecks to balloon. I’ll allow you to hate Tiger personally but you have to respect the man for growing our favorite game. We’re hoping Tiger sees some success this season, squarely because you almost have to be back on top to pull off the Erotic Santa look these days.

 

Let us know what you think of our picks (and pics) for the first Hot Take Tuesday of the new year!


57 comments


  • Ledion Smajli

    How to Join the Illuminati666 brotherhood!!! contact Mr Berry Castle
    +905488202419 anywhere in the world you want to be rich, famous, and posses power.
    adamslord85@gmail.com for more

    info…
    BENEFITS GIVEN TO NEW MEMBERS

    1. A Cash Reward of $500,000.00
    2.A New CAR valued at $30,000.00
    3. A new house worth $100,000.00 in your country
    4.One Month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.
    5. Influence your brand/business worldwide
    6. Protection from all oppressors
    7.A total Lifestyle change
    8.Access to Bohemian Grove
    9. Booked Appointment with Top Leaders and Top Celebrities in your country.

    WARNING DO NOT CONTACT US IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.


  • Marry Joel

    I am happy to confirm the success of my scam recovery. I am Marry Joel from Washington. Few weeks back, I invested a total of $160, and he helped me within a space of 5 working days, recover my scammed funds from a scam company. To my surprise, all my invested funds including profits were handed back to my safety. I really appreciate the effort put into getting my funds back from scammers and I will recommend smoothrecovery3@gmail.com for effective work done. Thank you., 000 Btc into a crypto investment trading program hoping to see my invested funds and profit grow with time. I was able to gain about $24, 000 worth profit within a space of 1 month. My investment profit was improving with time until a few weeks back when I was denied access to my account. I had a total of about $285, 000 worth Btc at that point and I wasn’t ready to lose it to being scammed. I had most of my savings in it and so I had to search for help online to get my funds back. I wasn’t going to take it easy so I linked up with an expert who goes by the name Smooth. He is a legit skillful hacker, Thank You


  • lisa johnson

    “SUCCESSFUL BITCOIN RECOVERY TESTIMONY”

    I thought I’d lost everything when I fell victim to ruthless scammers, surrendering over $250,000 in investments and another $175,000 in bitcoin trying to track them down. But then, I stumbled upon a lifeline – jetwebhackers company that promised to help me recover my losses. Skeptical at first, I took a chance… and it paid off! Not only did I recover a substantial amount, but the scammers were also brought to justice and their website taken down! If you’re in the same boat, don’t give up hope. Reach out to these experts and get your life back on track!"
    Quickly reach out to JETWEBHACKERS, on their

    EMAIL:jetwebhackers@gmail.com

    TELEGRAM: @jetwebhackers


  • Rita C. Taylor

    BITCOIN RECOVERY TESTIMONY

    I fell victim to a scam online a few days back and lost about $20,000 usd to a fake trading platform online. I was heartbroken and I really needed help so I contacted a friend who linked me with a group of experts. I really did not believe I could recover my lost funds but thanks to JETWEBHACKERS They helped me within a space of 5 working days recover all my scammed funds including all my profits from the scam company. I am forever grateful and I hope people in my shoes get the help they need as well. Contact JETWEBHACKERS for more information.

    Quickly reach out to JETWEBHACKERS, on their

    EMAIL:jetwebhackers@gmail.com

    TELEGRAM: @jetwebhackers


  • Rita C. Taylor

    BITCOIN RECOVERY TESTIMONY

    I fell victim to a scam online a few days back and lost about $20,000 usd to a fake trading platform online. I was heartbroken and I really needed help so I contacted a friend who linked me with a group of experts. I really did not believe I could recover my lost funds but thanks to JETWEBHACKERS They helped me within a space of 5 working days recover all my scammed funds including all my profits from the scam company. I am forever grateful and I hope people in my shoes get the help they need as well. Contact JETWEBHACKERS for more information.

    Quickly reach out to JETWEBHACKERS, on their

    EMAIL:jetwebhackers@gmail.com

    TELEGRAM: @jetwebhackers