Pumpkin Spice Latte: What Is This Witchcraft?

Every year…every single year...every woman in the country seems to fall victim to the addictive substance that is “pumpkin spice something” coffee. I would venture as far as to say that this is an unrecognized pandemic that takes hold every single fall. Perhaps even more disconcerting is the steady advance of the enemy. Not only does the seasonal introduction of pumpkin spice seem to move up every single year (folks, it is still warm out), but the trend has pressed its way into virtually every facet of food.

I’ve seen pumpkin spice donuts, pumpkin spice milk, pumpkin spice mix, so that you can make your own pumpkin spice concoction! What is this witchcraft? Who deserves credit for this idea that has seemingly spawned into an unstoppable Autumnal money-making machine? Here’s what I do know. Starbucks probably worships that person like a God.

It’s in Our Beer!

Pumpkin spice hasn’t stopped at caffeine, frozen treats and sweets. No. It has invaded the most sacred of beverages. Whether by sheer evil, or the strategic marketing of companies to lure pumpkin spice junkies into the beer market, I’ve seen a rising number of craft beers featuring pumpkin and spice flavors. The sight sends a shiver up my spine.

Should We Surrender?

Perhaps we should give up and just embrace it. Why are we letting the ladies enjoy the deliciousness while we stand on our high ground? Moreover, perhaps we should use it to our advantage. A little lacking in the dating game? I’d wager that a man carrying a drink holder of pumpkin spice lattes would have the ladies chasing him down the street. It might be a Hail Mary pass of a move, but sometimes you just have to go for it.

Ladies, leave us a comment. Perhaps you can explain the rise of this phenomenon that has seemingly become essential for the fall season. Or, you could help yourself to one of our Kane Quarter Zips, the world’s greatest beanie, and just enjoy your pumpkin spice coffee. It is clearly here to stay.

Disclosure: Women are very smart. Purchasing a holder of pumpkin spice lattes doesn’t work at all. You’ll end up sitting there by yourself drinking 4 pumpkin spice lattes.


2 comments


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